Jimmy Kimmel Investigates Donald Trump’s Neck Rash

Like many Americans, Jimmy Kimmel is curious about Donald Trump‘s mystery neck rash, which the late-night host has dubbed a “big red yuck.”

“Just when you thought Melania couldn’t find another reason not to sleep with him,” Kimmel quipped. “Or maybe she tried to strangle him in his sleep.”

He added, “Reporters have been asking about it. The White House claimed—first they claimed it was a kite-surfing accident. No. They’ve so far refused to give any detailed explanation of what it is. So we decided to investigate this ourselves.”

Kimmel then investigated the situation by interviewing “Donald Trump’s badly bruised baby hand.” The late-night show introduced a very orange hand topped with a swooping Trump wig and a large bruise. “I was hoping you could tell us what is going on with that rash or whatever is happening north of you on the president’s neck,” Kimmel said.

“That’s not a rash,” the hand replied with Trump’s voice. “The neck is just a little irritated from all the medals it has been wearing. We’ve won so many awards. The FIFA Peace Prize. Olympic gold. A lifetime achievement award from Arby’s for eating 10,000 beef and cheddars.”

Elsewhere in his monologue, Kimmel addressed Trump’s confusion about whether the U.S. is actually at war with Iran. “He keeps calling it a war. We’re now on day five of whatever this is,” Kimmel noted. “Pete Hegseth today said we’re just getting started in Iran. They’re still trying to figure out who will be Iran’s next top Ayatollah.”

Kimmel first addressed Trump’s rash on Tuesday night, joking, “Who knew diaper rash could go up that high?” He added, “One thing we know for sure, it’s not a hickey from Melania. It’s probably a vampire bite from Rudy Giuliani or something. Every day our president looks more like Pizza the Hutt from Space Balls.”