What Nikki Glaser Said In Her 2026 Golden Globes Monologue

Nikki Glaser kept the jokes and the jabs coming at the 2026 Golden Globes.

The comedian returned to host the annual awards ceremony, live from the Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles on Jan. 11.

Glaser made history last year as the first woman to host the Globes solo, and proved that she was more than ready to tackle the big gig. Ahead of this year’s Golden Globes, she told TODAY.com, “I’m working with all of the same people. I’m going to all the same clubs to work on the material. I am thinking about the celebrity’s point of view.”

When her moment arrived, Glaser appeared on the stage in an off-the-shoulder red gown, a quick wardrobe change from her pink red carpet look, as Taylor Swift’s “Style” blasted in the background.

Read on for a full recap of Glaser’s 2026 Golden Globes monologue.

What Did Nikki Glaser Say in Her Opening Monologue?

Glaser made her way through most of the nominees, poking fun at many of the stars — and herself.

Here are some of the highlights:

• “Just like ‘Frankenstein,’ I’ve been pieced together by an unlicensed European surgeon and good work.”
• “There’s so many A-listers — and by A-listers, I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted.”
• “The award for most editing goes to CBS News. Yes, CBS News, America’s newest place to see BS news.”
• “George Clooney is nominated tonight for the movie ‘Jay Kelly.’ Yes, where he plays George Clooney. He was so good.”
• “Kevin Hart is here. Yes, The Rock’s plus one-half…Kevin, you’re so funny, and you and The Rock together are like my favorite comedy duo. You’re, like, a Steve Martin and Martin Short, but for, like, people under 50 IQ.”
• “How good was Leo in ‘One Battle’? It is insane. So good, so vaping good. What a career you’ve had. I mean, countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director. You’ve won three Golden Globes, an Oscar. And the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30.
• “You know, everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger. Meanwhile, Sean Penn is like, ‘What if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?'”
• “I can’t believe it. We got two Michael B. Jordans. When I saw that, I was like, ‘Nikki be jerking, because that was awesome.'”
• “Timothée Chalamet is the first actor in history who had to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong. He gained over 60 ounces. It’s insane. “

Reactions to Nikki Glaser’s Opening Monologue

So far, Glaser has received overwhelmingly positive reactions on social media to her monologue.

“Truly, why doesn’t Nikki Glaser host every awards show? She’s absolutely killing this monologue right now,” one X user asked.

“Nikki Glaser didn’t repeat herself,” another said. “She raised the bar. One year after redefining what a Golden Globes host could be, she came back and delivered one of the sharpest, most assured opening monologues the show has had in a decade. At this point, it isn’t a gamble. It’s a standard.”

A third X user said, “Nikki Glaser roasting CBS on CBS is iconic.”

“Few things will make me change the channel from the NFL playoffs, but a Nikki Glaser opening monologue at the Golden Globes will,” one person tweeted.